Ant's blog

2009-05-05T15:40:00.003+01:00

"APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain..."

T.S.E.

On the roof

2009-03-20T09:39:00.001Z

High above the cathedral streets,
where the folk rush by in the cold shadow of the day,
the birds wait silently.

Beyond the noise of the crowds,
the love and hate and crying and shouting,
the birds stand sentinel and steady
at one with the wind.

For the people below
have lost their way in the shadows
and can no longer see
the sky.

Soon, the birds will raise their heads
open their wings
and Fly to the sea.

A Little Doubt is Better

2008-09-03T12:53:00.001+01:00

Traditions come from the past, of high import if they be True;
Ay, but weak is the chain of those who warrant their truth.
Consult thy reason and let perdition take others all:
Of all the conference Reason best will counsel and guide.
A little doubt is better than total credulity:
Al-Ma'arri

2008-07-17T17:14:00.001+01:00

All this they do not see.
Butterflies on a mountain path
Sun sinking behind the swollen river
The city at night, blinking in solitude
A house heavy with books and silence
The late monsoon rain
-
Glowing spheres
Warm orange, red, yellow and green
Gently floating, merging, parting
Some near, some far
Against a backdrop of white eternity.
All this they see.
-
We walk the Earth a little time
Invent distractions for our minds,
The Angels watch me and I seek
A little truth before I sleep.

Kiyomizu-dera, Kyoto.

2008-06-26T17:52:00.008+01:00

Live every moment afresh

Because you have not been here before.

Because each moment you are in a foreign land.

Be like the child in the meadow

And the traveller on the far off shore.

2007-11-30T10:39:00.000Z

"Where are the men with the strength to be men?
Where are those who have eyes and can see?
Looking around, I see nothing but cowards and cynics,
And slaves, slaves to their own senses.
And every one of these poor beggars
Thinks of himself as another Aristotle.
You tell me they have written poems-
You call that poetry?
I call it the cawing of crows.
It's time for the prophet's anger
to purify poetry,
Left too long to the fingers of
aesthetes and time-wasters.
I have carved my song in the high
forehead of Time.
They know it and hate it-it is too
much."

Solomon Ibn Gabirol (ca. 1021-1058)

Rumi

2007-10-05T13:18:00.000+01:00

if the sky is not in love, then it will not be so clear. If the sun is not in love, then it will not be giving any light. If the river is not in love, then it will be in silence, it will not be moving. If the mountains, the earth are not in love, then there will be nothing growing.

2007-09-25T16:51:00.001+01:00

monaco

2007-08-31T16:19:00.002+01:00

2007-08-31T16:19:00.001+01:00

An individual’s true nature is indicated by their interaction with children. Those that consider children a noisy nuisance, an inconvenience, a waste of time, and so forth, have lost the joy of life and forgotten its true meaning. On the other hand, those that recognise and take pleasure in the unconditioned free spirit of our children know that our joys, pains, past and futures are all present in the children of the world.

2007-06-20T15:29:00.000+01:00

still hungry

2007-05-16T12:10:00.000+01:00

Ethiopian Mary and Jesus.

2007-05-15T17:10:00.001+01:00

Tramp angel

2007-05-11T16:36:00.000+01:00

by Banksy

2007-03-27T16:58:00.000+01:00

Plane to Africa. And K.

2007-02-06T16:57:00.000Z

Falling leaves

A late Autumn afternoon saw Mei’s hand held in her mother’s. Leaves were blowing, and all around Mei sensed the wind whispering to the trees.
Mei and her mother walked up and over the three wooded hillocks that lay along the path to Grandfather Mew’s cottage. They stopped at the top of the third rise, where the trees ended, and gazed down the gentle slope. Below them stirred a field of wild grass and, beyond that, was grandfather Mew’s cottage. Smoke was rising from the chimney. Grey smoke against grey sky.
The grass was heavy with rain, and Mei’ legs were soaked by the time they had reached the oak that watched over the grass. The oak was very old. Perhaps as old as Grandfather Mew, or even older. During the summer, Mei would lie under its shade, in the centre of the field, and gaze into the green branches above. And the tree would smile in the sun. Smile at the innocent joy of a young girl. And smile with Knowledge and Wisdom. Yet now the oak was all but bare. Thick branches stretching strong against the coming winter. Mei thought back to a previous Autumn. She had asked Grandfather Mew why the oak was losing his leaves. Was it because he was dying? Grandfather Mew had replied that the wise oak was not yet ready to die. True, his leaves were lying lifeless around his great frame, yet they had died such that he might live. The old oak was prepared for the approach of the cold. At that time, Mei had not really understood her Grandfather’s words and had run through the grass to embrace the gnarled trunk in her small arms. She had pressed her head to the old bark and shut her eyes. Then she had felt the life force of the oak. Strong. Upright. Deep within the tree. ‘No’ she had thought. ‘The old oak is not dead. He is only sleeping’.
Mei and her mother passed the oak and walked the last two hundred yards to the cottage door.
Inside, the cottage was warm and still. Mei and her mother entered the small bedroom and found Grandfather Mew sat quietly in his favorite chair. He rose to greet his daughter and grandchild.
‘My child’ grandfather Mew spoke to his granddaughter
‘Warm yourself by the fire for a while’
‘But grandfather’ Mei protested ‘I want to stay here, with you’
‘Do not worry little one. I shall be here when you return. Let me speak with your mother a little.’
He watched Mei walk sadly from the room. Then his eyes turned to his worried daughter.
‘I have not left yet’ he whispered, as she collapsed into his old, strong arms.

Mei sat by the fire and stared as the flames licked the wood.
‘Mei, Mei, Mei’ the flames hissed.
‘Come play, play, play’
‘Pay no heed to the flames,’ her grandfather had told her once. ‘Though they know you and entice with rhyme and beauty, your will is strong and they cannot harm you. Pay them no heed.’ Mei would often sit by the fire for hours and listen to the song of the flames. And yes, there was a strange beauty in the song. Beautiful and enchanting. But today, Mei was not listening and her thoughts were elsewhere. For today, Grandfather Mew had sent for his family, to bid them farewell.

Mei returned to her grandfathers bedroom. Grandfather Mew sat in his chair and Mei’s mother stood by his side, her face lowered to the floor.
‘Dear Mei. You look so sad. You should not be so.’ His voice was soft yet strong, like water. His eyes were kind and deep, like the sky above the clouds. And his soul was bright, like a mirror.
‘Go to the window, tell me what you see’
Mei stood by the glass and looked toward the field.
‘The sky is grey, grandfather. The wind is cold and bitter. Rain is coming over the hills. And the grass is dancing. That is what I see, grandfather.’
‘Little Mei. Your voice I shall truly miss... Now, tell me what you really see.’
Mei stood at the window and stared.
‘I see the old oak standing guard over his field of grass. He stands strong and tall.’ Mei’s eyes filled with tears as she spoke
‘His branches are empty now, the last leaves are flying from his arms.’
Grandfather Mew nodded and smiled. As Mei turned from the window and ran to his side, the Old sage, still smiling, breathed out quietly and closed his eyes for the last time.

.

2006-09-12T21:24:00.000+01:00

devon

2006-09-04T17:13:00.000+01:00

Standing in white darkness,
In cold silence we two.
Tasting of the night,
Sounding of the mist.
After years of searching,
The night is upon us.
Waiting for the dragon.

And it is cold.
Chill eats my coat,
Silence eats my mind.
We wait for the creature to come.
Soon he will be here.

Fight desire to summon warmth.
There can be no words of weaving
Upon this sacred site.

In cold silence we two.
No stranger to silence.
The cultivation of supreme emptiness.
Supreme silence.
A silent soul is brighter than the sun.

Yet here, danger hides in
A different silence.
The silence of oblivion.
A dark silence.

Strange
The mind is fickle and weak.
Whose thoughts are these?
All is meaningless.
Yet here I remain.

And You, my friend,
A rock beside me.
among rocks,
Amongst the mountains.

Standing in white darkness.
Since I was a young man I have been searching.
Travelling between.
Whilst others stayed behind,
I alone walked on.…

Sound precedes the beast.
Sound unlike an other.
Loud - it seems the air around is screaming.
And yet, a silence remains.
Cold may burn hot,
Screaming encompasses silence.
And it is eternal and it is infinite.

Eternity and infinity pass.
A head appears in the mist.
During slow chaos
His eyes are upon my own.
I join this ancient watcher
As he climbs higher on the winds of rain.

Soon we are in the clouds
And now above,
Where all can be viewed
In sad wonder.

And still we climb.
I want to see everything.
I want nothing to be hidden from my gaze.
So much he has known
And so much he has loved.

He has rested beneath the ocean,
Since forever.
Alone, but for drowning souls
Whom he greets
With eyes of envy.

But now
Far above the cities of men
He seeks
His death.

Men speak
Of the beast
In Hushed tones
‘The beast’ They say
‘His time is nigh’
And tremble as night approaches

‘The beast’ They say
‘his heart is cold
like the man who
never loved’
how wrong they are.

‘The beast’ They say
‘his soul is dead
like the man who
never knew music’
how wrong they are.

He has rested beneath the ocean,
Since forever.
On nights of omen
He rises
Above the waves
Born to the clouds.

Such is his curse
To wander
Chasing death
-those of men
But never his own.

Standing in white darkness,
In cold silence we two.
Tasting of the night,
Sounding of the mist.
After years of searching,
The night is upon us.
Waiting for the dragon.

upside down

2006-08-24T17:43:00.000+01:00

2006-08-03T21:08:00.000+01:00

feed me!!!

2006-07-17T15:09:00.000+01:00

Feed me your brains

2006-07-13T13:09:00.000+01:00

2006-07-13T12:36:00.000+01:00

Nando's

2006-06-16T11:42:00.000+01:00

2006-05-28T21:46:00.000+01:00

Theism
God gave life to man
He later gave a brain to man
He gave plants and animals
He also gave the sun, water and the wind to help the man to grow the trees
He gave land for the animals to live with the man

One day the sun was too strong
The rain didn't come.
Next day the rain came
But the sun fell asleep.
Another day, the rain came, the wild wind followed.
The other day, the sun woke up and shone.
"Oh my God, what are you doing to me?" said the man.

Atheism
God gave life to man.
He later gave a brain to man.
He gave plants and animals,
He also gave the sun, water and the wind to help the man to grow the trees
He gave land for the animals to live with the man

One day the man turned the animals into McDonalds burgers and Chicken McNuggets.
Next day he sowed plants to smoke and built roads for cars.
Another day, he turned water into beer and coca cola.
The other day, his son drank beer and his daughter drank coca cola instead of water.
When the sun came, the man's wife had a sun bath.
"Oh man, what are you doing to me?" said God.

Written by the man's wife..

2006-05-03T15:32:00.000+01:00

It's even more hairy than daddy!

We want our money back

2006-03-24T17:20:00.000Z

No noise to be heard
Save the birds

No images here nor idols
We stand alone without sound
And watch the sun go down

We want our money back
There is no place
For this black-ness
In our world
No room for this calm
In our life
We want to see the manager
And demand compensation
Or else an end to this ending

Start the drum
Feed our eyes and ears
With manna
In byte size portions

Winds enter our minds
Blown across the seas
From men and women and beasts
A wind of understanding and compassion

We want our money back
There is no place
For this black-ness
In our world
No room for this calm
In our life
We want to see the manager
And demand compensation
Or else an end to this ending

2006-02-19T14:40:00.000Z

T loves the trees and the wind in her hair.

2006-02-19T14:37:00.000Z

Or is it early Spring?

2006-02-19T14:34:00.000Z

Late winter visitors to our garden. Robin, Blackbird, sparrow, blue tit. Jay, wood pigeon, chaffinch. Dove, pheasant, fox! And 2 snoozing hedgehogs.

The Jungle book

2006-02-19T14:25:00.000Z

"We are great. We are free. We are wonderful. We are the most wonderful people in all the Jungle! We all say so, and so it must be true."

Rudyard Kipling.

2006-02-12T20:27:00.001Z

Apple trees

2006-02-12T20:27:00.000Z

the back of our enchanted garden

t

2005-12-11T15:30:00.000Z

t4me.blogspot.com

2005-11-10T22:58:00.000Z

2005-11-04T17:09:00.000Z

a few of the gang

2005-11-04T17:06:00.000Z

monks facing buddhas. phuket

2005-11-04T17:02:00.000Z

dog, motorbikes, tyres, junk. phuket

2005-11-04T17:00:00.000Z

bangkok from p'folk's office..oct 2005

2005-10-24T21:21:00.000+01:00

Past the pond, through the woods, up the hill and back...

2005-10-23T14:11:00.000+01:00

"There are not many paths for you to take..infact, there are only two...do not choose my way.." Necromancer

2005-10-20T19:45:00.000+01:00

2005-10-18T12:38:00.000+01:00

“Whatever you dream you can do begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now.” Goethe.

2005-10-16T20:18:00.000+01:00

Tears in your eyes
They are mine
And the pain in your soul
That is mine too.
Knowing this,
How can I turn away?

The knife in his gut-
I thrust it there
He breathes his last
Because of my hand.
And yet I die with him also.
For I am the warm knife,
The killer and the victim.
Seeing this, how shall I hate?

The prince born in the palace
But stolen to the slum
Is turned pauper.
And the beggar child
Raised amongst riches
Shall be the Queen.

2005-08-23T23:09:00.000+01:00

2005-08-23T23:06:00.000+01:00

"we can't afford a horse...that's why daddy has to carry me". T in Cuddesdon, July'05

2005-08-21T23:09:00.000+01:00

Apes in Berlin

2005-08-07T19:52:00.000+01:00

The moment of Truth.

As I was walking down this lonely road
Of faces and places
I caught a glimpse of the truth
And then it was gone.

2005-07-25T22:02:00.000+01:00

2005-07-25T21:42:00.000+01:00

Sarah and Leigh.

2005-07-20T20:30:00.000+01:00

.....

2005-07-16T23:14:00.000+01:00

"To see a world in a grain of sand
And heaven in a wild flower
Hold infinity in the palm of your hand
And eternity in an hour. "
W.B.

2005-06-17T17:32:00.000+01:00

“The gods did not reveal, from the beginning,
All things to us; but in the course of time,
Through seeking, men find that which is the better.

These things are, we conjecture, like the truth.

But as for certain truth, no man has known it,
Nor will he know it; neither of the gods,
Nor yet of all the things of which I speak.
And even if by chance he were to utter
The final truth, he would himself not know it:
For all is but a woven web of guesses.”

Xenophanes.

"Atlas shrugged"

2005-06-15T22:31:00.000+01:00

2005-06-15T22:23:00.000+01:00

Dad's pleco.

passport photo

2005-06-05T22:34:00.000+01:00

ok T...look at the camera, don't laugh, put your hands down, stop wriggling...

2005-06-04T18:45:00.000+01:00

cartmel

2005-06-04T18:42:00.000+01:00

2005-06-04T18:40:00.000+01:00

A stranger's smile

2005-05-18T21:18:00.000+01:00

Beauty lies in secret places; unheralded, unexpected and unspoken.

2005-05-18T21:16:00.000+01:00

Sunset in sommerset. This was a few weeks ago. Cheddar, Wells, the coast, Bath.

2005-05-18T21:02:00.000+01:00

The Humber bridge

2005-05-18T20:42:00.000+01:00

Nick and Rachel got married. 14/05/05. I've known Nick for almost 20 years! I was very very happy and they are a fantastic couple. Incidently, T is going to 3 weddings this year, all up the M1 corridor. This one was near Scunthorpe - we stayed by the Humber.....(see photo)

2005-04-18T23:05:00.000+01:00

With the best friend of my life,
We shared our life at the sunset and you.

With the best men of my life,
We promised to meet again at the sunset and you.

You are running through my heart.
Sunset at the Chaopraya River bank.

2005-04-14T22:36:00.000+01:00

...

OK OK..here she is.

2005-04-14T22:33:00.000+01:00

2005-04-13T22:44:00.000+01:00

Organised religion

2005-04-13T22:41:00.000+01:00

Not being able to fit into my trousers on Monday and seeing Charlie's well-toned physique last weekend resulted in a relapse into circuit training this week....so now my limbs are sore but at least I feel less guilty about all those "Ben's Cookies"

Observer Magazine

2005-04-13T22:35:00.000+01:00

...

Not just cheese and cider

2005-03-28T11:33:00.000+01:00

We've had to update K's favourite fish and chips UK list.
1. Cheddar fish bar All freshly made, good quality fish, batter, excellent chips.
2. Fowler Terrace, Edinburgh A representative Edinburgh Fish Supper.
3. Seafare Burpham, Guildford Frequent winner of "Best UK fish and chips outlet"
4. Inverness F+C
5. Mr. Brown's, Oxford
6. Abergavenny F+C

2005-03-25T10:54:00.000Z

Often we are unaware of the superheroes in our midst. We all have things that we do not share, even with closest friends and family. Thoughts, deeds, needs, lifestyles. Our mistake is not that we are ignorant of these hidden jewels, but that we presume to know each other completely.

2005-03-21T21:21:00.000Z

T's favorite music - Rolling Stones, Lenny Kravitz, "the wheels on the bus go round and round", Frank Zappa, ...

JuBu

2005-03-16T21:44:00.000Z

from Zen Judaism:

* The Torah says,"Love thy neighbor as thyself."
The Buddha says there is no "self."
So, maybe you are off the hook.

2005-03-15T20:05:00.000Z

flying with grandad!

2005-03-15T20:04:00.000Z

she giggles, gurgles and wriggles

2005-03-15T19:59:00.000Z

tiny

Now's the time

2005-03-10T22:22:00.000Z

I've been getting my fingers and head round the Sax part for the Stevie Wonder funk classic "Sir Duke". Although the original sounds like it's in B, it's been suggested that the guys playing with Stevie recorded it in Bflat and speeded it up!* This month sees the anniversary of Charlie "Bird" Parker's death. The genius king of (sax) jazz. I'm sure he'd have had no problems with it...

*hmm...This is probably just an excuse for playing it slower in an easier key...

2005-03-10T22:14:00.000Z

Another one...T and MIMI !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2005-03-10T22:13:00.000Z

Jun and T

2005-03-07T21:51:00.000Z

Aunty Joe

2005-03-07T21:39:00.000Z

oxford

2005-03-07T21:27:00.000Z

Tash and T.... :)

2005-02-26T19:43:00.000Z

Foolishly, we mistake kindness for weakness and silence for ignorance.

2005-02-12T19:46:00.000Z

'Seek happiness in tranquility and avoid ambition, even if it be only the apparently innocent one of distinguishing yourself in science and discoveries.' Mary Shelly

Youth calls to age

2005-02-12T19:39:00.000Z

You too have seen the sun a bird of fire
Stepping on clouds across the golden sky,
Have known man's envy and his weak disire,
Have loved and lost.

You, who are old, have loved and lost as I
All that is beautiful but born to die,
Have traced your patterns in the hastening frost.
And you have walked up in the hills at night,
And bared your head beneath the living sky,
When it was noon have walked into the light,
Knowing such joy as I.

Though there are years between us, they are naught
Youth calls to age across the tired years:'What have you found,' he cries, 'what have you sought?'
'What you have found,' age answers through his tears,
'What you have sought'

Dylan Thomas

Crazy dancing.

2005-02-08T21:05:00.000Z

An expression of freedom. Demonstrated here by Jim Brodie (during the Edinburgh years) and recently revived in our flat. Catalysed by a Zappa CD from Nick.

2005-02-06T18:44:00.000Z

Emma and Ewan's wedding!
This beautiful couple. After 7 years still so perfect. The wedding was great. Because of these two. Also to meet our friends from Birmingham.
T adopted some uncles and aunties! Emma and Ewan, Rachel and Dave, Sarah and Leigh.

"'Friends are like flowers' thought Pooh,
'You pick the ones you really like' ".

Child of the seventies, child of the naughties.

2005-02-03T21:56:00.000Z

The band were playing at a 70s party...My hair normally looks crazier than this but I recently had a haircut so had to buy this wig!

Zen and the art of cycling

2005-02-01T20:26:00.000Z

We bought a car. It's 13 years old but it goes.
Cars cars cars. We love them, we hate them. Freedom to travel. How free are we behind the windscreen? As free as behind the TV screen? How free is that?

Cycling to and from work I can look at the trees. In the winter they stand bare. I watch them bending and dancing. In the Springtime I see the cherry blossoms shaking; pink, white, pink. The green Summer, trees are heavy, birds sing squirrels jump. The autumnal city shines; leaves on the road. I see high walls. I see the sun setting over the Oxfordshire hills. I can feel the rain. Snow. Wind.

"On a cycle the frame is gone. You're completely in contact with it all. You're in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming".Robert Pirsig

2005-01-26T19:05:00.000Z

Back by popular demand. This pink bunny was photographed in the wild by Martin Moneke who was visiting (with Beate) from Darmstadt last weekend.

The angels

2005-01-18T16:56:00.000Z

2005-01-17T21:21:00.000Z

"Aftercomers cannot guess the beauty been" Gerard Manley Hopkins wrote of the ancient meadow in 1879, following the felling of the poplars by the river.

The poplars have been replaced with others and Port Meadow is still, in my opinion at least, one of the finest things about Oxford. Walkers enjoy the beautiful meadow all year round. At the moment, during winter, it is flooded - inhabited by a mass of waterfowl and others. Forget your dreaming spires, aloof ivory towers, dark dusty libraries and sophisticated quads!

An article in The Spectator, 1914 reads,
"From Walton Well to Wolvercote it still stretches, a wilderness of green turf, the joy of the rider and walker, and the airiest meadow in the valley of the Thames. So be it, and so shall it be."

2005-01-16T18:40:00.000Z

1 small noisy baby. Found growing in a bamboo shoot.

2005-01-08T21:57:00.000Z

Fish eggs.

Butterfly dwarf cichlid (Microgeophagus ramirezi/Papiliochromis ramirezi)

2005-01-08T21:56:00.000Z

These beautiful fish, also known as Rams, are about 6cm long. After careful cleaning of a broad Anubius leaf, the female laid a batch of about 30 small - 2mm length - white eggs (the male fertilises the eggs shortly after they have been laid). This process takes a couple of hours. They then take turns to guard the eggs. Guard duty includes chasing off other fish as well as gulping air from the surface and fanning oxygenated water over the eggs. The fry take about 72 hours to hatch. Unfortunately, the young don't have much chance of survival in a community tank - in fact, as expected, the eggs in this photo were eaten after day 2 (by the parents or a greedy platty). We will remove the next batch (imminent) to another tank after they are laid and "hand rear" them - but it's worth leaving the eggs with the parents at least once to observe their interesting parenting behaviour. These fish will also look after any hatchlings until they are fairly old.

Three years

2005-01-06T20:42:00.000Z

"To love someone deeply
Gives you strength,
Being loved by someone deeply
Gives you courage"
Lao Tzu

2004-12-28T13:49:00.000Z

Oxfam's website-http://www.oxfam.org.uk/
DEC Tsunami appeal-http://www.dec.org.uk/#

2004-12-21T20:21:00.000Z

When T was 10 days old

2004-12-20T21:51:00.000Z

My sleeping beauties.

2004-12-20T17:33:00.000Z

Dad gave me a little Jade tree 12 years ago. Although it's very big now I've had problems getting it to flower. These pretty star-shaped flowers appeared for the first time the day after Tara was born.